Living inside a bottle
– Alcoholism (I only drink on 2 days i.e when it rains and when it does not)
I’m lying on stretcher in a white ambulance van
The needles is my veins are doing my heart scan
A nurse besides me says her name is ‘Roxanne’
She is overly nervous and asks on the phone ‘Doctor, tell fast what’s the plan?’
Her flickering eyeballs suggests, I have less time left than a child’s attention span
If I die in mid way, no one would miss me anymore other than
My bottles of alcohol and my beer can
And my dead remains, will end up in thrash can
But when I had a bottle in my hand, I always felt like a man.
I remember my old days, when I was really young, only twenty-one
My friends forced me to try at a party once for fun
I thought to go with flow; after all it’s not a game of gun
The very first sip I drank, I knew, we both had found each one
Nothing stopped that night and bottles emptied out one after one
I swear at 4am I saw my first midnight sun
I was the last man standing and everyone I had outrun
Girl at bar counter gave me a smile and her interest she began
Anyone could tell with a bottle in my hand, I felt like a man
My college years can be easily summed up, by those bunked classes and videogame called ‘N-able’
Those bunch of friends and that shining bottle of ‘black label’
Those frequent hangovers, blackouts and vomits on conference table
That democratic way of deciding the next meet, to drink the best alcohol label
That regular Dad’s nagging ‘When will you join me on dinner table’
Could he not be proud? When everyone stopped drinking, as his or her capacity disable
His son was the only one, who could still stand strong and walk back home stable
Why was he just after ‘Where is your life heading and what’s your plan?’
Could he not already see, with a bottle in my hand, his son felt like a man?
I used to drink before I go to work, cos it made me so much efficient
More I had, the more it felt I had very less of it and insufficient
I use to drink with anyone and everyone, to show them they were so deficient
I could easily go on forever, while they use to say ‘No more! We are very self sufficient’
They use to all say to me ‘Stop it now and do not do this alcohol abuse’
That bunch of fools! Could not see that for me, it felt like going on holiday cruise
My doctor once called me, to say ‘Come here, because for you I got one news’
He said ‘Your liver is getting rusted, because of this over consumed booze’
Idiot doctor! could not understand, it was nothing but a grape juice
I’m sure everyone was jealous of me, cos of my collection of bottles in my sedan
They could win ‘no argument’ over me, cos with bottle in my hand I felt like a man
I slowly started realizing when I drank, I could not decide my limits anymore
All my friends were leaving me, like seagull from the shores
I recall the day when I decided instead of buying milk for my child, I would only be able to afford my ‘Rum’ (Alcohol)
That was first time I felt I’m completely dependent on it and felt so much numb
My wife left me one day saying ‘as a man you are so f*ckin weak ‘
‘Even a small bird is stronger, which before her own food, feeds her baby from her beak’
I had no courage to hold her hand and tell her to not leave me and stop
All I did that entire night was to drink alone and non-stop
After this whenever I had to enhance my mood
I had a compulsion to finish it, when I saw any alcohol bottle nude
This have ended me in stretcher in white ambulance van
The needles now is my veins are doing my heart scan
I have wasted my life, just to remain ‘high’ (Intoxicated) for only few hours
Because of this I have ruined my career, my talent, my wife and my child called ‘flower’
My mother use to tell my father ‘You just watch my son grow old and look’
‘He will one day become a great author and write a book’
I’m so very sorry mother, I feel guilty to the core, and to throw your dream in thrash can
Nothing more I can do now cos I have less time left, than a child’s attention span
Because with a bottle in my hand, I’m A DEAD MAN
P.S: Please be extremely nice to alcoholics, they don’t have much time to live on this earth. It starts with little use, then this use becomes a misuse and then it becomes an abuse and finally they are dependent on the bottle. Life is more beautiful outside than INSIDE OF A BOTTLE.
@Copyright: Authored by amateur me –Anup D.