Heart Break

Authored & Created by – Anup D.

Being upset from me for a lifetime you walked away

Exactly at that moment -when I’m still holding your picture in my hand

I have only liked one person in this entire lifetime

Apart from that, I do not know what love is

In the beginning it was just as simple as that, that you seemed nice

Now it has moved to a point that nothing without you seem nice

People did say time never ever stops for none

Not sure, why? But for me, it stopped at your smile

You never asked about my well being

But you still knew everything about me

Because I was certain you had a close watch on me, through your heart’s eyes too

I never ever got upset from you, but only with your time

Which you never had for me

Strange are these relationships now

Everyone has time but no time to meet

In my city of love, I asked myself what is the most beautiful?

I m there, you are there –so what else is necessary?

I had slept many nights with the desire to dream about you

I’m sure, I may have requested my eyes to keep extending the night within

Now standing in front of my mirror and I am thinking

What has changed in me? That you have changed?

Your friends asked me once, what do I do?

When I said I only know to love you

They laughed and you laughed too

Cunningly they asked and what else do you know?

Laughs -I know, but not the talks about malice and being hurtful

There are jokes in my talks, but not every talk of I is a joke

Someone there cruelly opened his ill-nature to say ‘I don’t deserve you because I’m not as successful’

You kept your dignified silence with a grin

Sometimes a cut from a knife leaves not even a zilch of a mark

But sometimes just a tiny gesture is enough to dismantle someone’s existence

Maybe only my shot comings have earned me my bread

Otherwise, my talents have always fallen short

Maybe you may not know the tremulous pain of a heartache

Because maybe not every heart that mourns dies in public

I never got the chance to know the reason

You kept changing the tone and we kept becoming stranger

Nothing I could say despite so much to say

Did we only remain strangers like strangers, despite meeting every day?

Did we meet just to meet?

Or did we really meet?

And if we did not really meet

Then why did we ever meet?

Now somehow he finds a reason to find me every day

Now even this pain knows all my shelters

I’m sure it is not like this is a coincidence

Separation of you, from the beginning, must have been a planned and settled affair

Today I may be talking about this treachery

But once upon a time, I was completely demented for you

This innocent heart died for you

It ‘No’ likes No more the beauty of this world

If this hangover had been because of alcohol, I’m sure it would have been gone by now

But this bad habit is of you, which I do not believe will go before life

Some are engulfed with the soul, some with a body, and some with money

Everyone loved but in their own and own ways

She blended in I; I could never blend in her

So, I may have remained a bad debt on her balance sheet

Only when she left I realized

That no one is necessary for anyone in this world

If you were to test any relationship do it in the autumn season

Because In spring every leaf seems to looks green

It is not in the nature of every soil to be loyal

Many saplings do dry off and die in their flowerpot

In search of the drop of water I jumped in the sea

The same drop of water I was searched for

The same water that drowned me

Strange world this is when you are sad no one ask you

But when you laugh everyone ask you the reasons

The only desire I had for my life was that it should be colourful

And exactly everyone who walked in my life was a chameleon

Don’t be ever over proud of your success fooled by the height of your ego

Someone once mentioned, that even clouds need to come down to earth to collect water

This continuous pain does not allow my night’s sleep to continue

But somehow this heart has this continuous habit of patience

Which does not let my tears continue

Only now, if our paths agree we may meet again

Because our destinations have no desire it seems

But that falls from its branches I’m not that leaf

So tell the storms to remain in their limits

They are in peace and comfort that are rock

Because this pain and suffering are only for the sensitive

But suffering is always creative

Because it gives rise to something new and productive

Anyone who is a buyer, do call out

Because I also need to negotiate the price of some old memories

But some secrets are good to remain within you

Because even the poets don’t express every tale

I’m sure this time will go

I will maintain my composure

When the good times can leave

Then who the hell is this bad time?

Passionate love if it remains unfinished, then learn to be proud of yourself

Because the truest form of love has always been unaccomplished

P.s: Inspiration- Mirza Ghalib

Words would have mattered

words@ Authored and created by: Anup D.

Yes words would have mattered
But only, if they could have deliciously expressed the happiness of a newborn’s mother

Yes words would have mattered
But only, if they could have completely answered the curiosity of a child

Yes words would have mattered
But only, if they could have explained the cosmos of a feeling called ‘love’

Yes words would have mattered
But only, if they could have taught the one using it of when to not use them

Yes words would have mattered
But only, if they could have helped the speaker be understood at their level than being wrongly perceived by the listener at theirs

Yes words would have mattered
But only, if they could have turned the violent enemy to a dear friend

Yes words would have mattered
But only, if they could have changed the mind of the people with power to bring peace in the world

Yes words would have mattered
But only, if they could have stopped the man who jumped from a cliff to end his life

Yes words would have mattered
But only, if they could have saved the dying

Yes the words would have mattered
But only, if they could have fully consoled the family of the departed

Yes words would have mattered
But only, if they could have saved the marriages

Yes words would have mattered
But only, if it could have convinced and taught patience to an innocent victim sentenced for a lifetime

Yes words would have mattered
But only, if they could have defined the meaning of life

Yes words would have mattered
But only, if they have managed to shatter the ego to make one accept the mistake

P.s:

Sometimes words are not enough
Yes the words are words and will always be words
Sometimes they are nothing more than gross machinery, primitive and ambiguous
May be a meaningful silence may work better than meaningless word

Postman Baba

postman-baba

@ Authored & created by : Anup D.

Sitting down on my bench outside an empty street I see my wreathed bicycle by my side besides the wall -It’s punctured and tyre is burst

Just watching it, makes me feel I should get a new one
It has now lived its life
It has seen the rain
It has seen the sun
It has seen the moonlit cheerful house courtyards
It has seen the spring and the autumn too
It has seen the giggles on the street
It has seen the kids playing stapu (hopscotch)
It has seen the streets filled with holi colors
It has seen neighbor’s gossips
It’s has lived it’s life, like I have
But not as much as I have, I am 83 now

Should I get the puncture fixed or should I buy a new one
Ramesh tyre shop is not far
I should go, before it gets too dark
But …………………………..
…………(Silence)……………………….
………………………………….
do I really need to get this fixed ?

All kids have grown old
They talk on the phone, and use their machines
No one sends letters anymore

Where will I go ?
Who will I deliver the letters to?
Who will share their joys?
Who will give me sweets, when I announce their job letter?
The birth of babies
The visit of Nani and Nana
The homecoming of the son

My old eyes see the world being connected
I don’t see I’m useful anymore
This world have changed and it must
I think I should retire too

But

What will I do when I retire?
My life have been spent delivering letters from address one to address two

How will I not deliver them the happiness?
Why would they not want to share their sorrows with me anymore?
Why would Chinki not jump with joy, after hearing Nana and Nani are visiting home
This road is empty now, but I’m sure some neighbor’s are gossiping on the other road

I must not retire….

I should get the puncture fixed
Ramesh tyre shop is not too far
I should go, before it gets too dark

As the old postman walked up 10 feet, with his bicycle. His son came from the back and held his hand

Where are you going Baba, come and get back to home, it’s getting dark
It’s been 10 years and you do the same every day…

All kids have grown old baba
They talk on the phone, and use their machines
No one sends letters anymore
This world have changed now
You must retire too…….

P.s: Should he retire?….may be ‘yes’, now cos the world have changed or may be ‘no’, cos somewhere deep down we are all the same

Spiritual Masturbation – Who is left in the room, a Monk or a Gangster ? (a journey of awakening

Spiritual Masturbation – Who is left in the room, a Monk or a Gangster ?

A sudden tap on the weak wooden door in the middle of night, as the Monk opened the door a man appeared who looked extremely hurried and carrying a gun, introduced himself as a wildlife hunter, who lost his way. Below is the conversation between the Unknown man & the Monk

Unknown man: Can I come in, I’m very very thirsty ?
Monk (Calm & peaceful): Come, be my guest. Have a seat, I’ll get you water.

As he stepped in, he saw the room had nothing except the very basics, a dim lit lamp which made it hard to see the room in it’s entirety unless you focus very sharply, some books and a bed sheet covering the floor (with no bed). Finding this to be a safe place, he kept his gun aside and sat on the only wooden chair he saw in the room. The calmness in the room was very enticing and it made him to be at a little ease.

Monk: Here, please accept it
Unknown Man: Thank you

Monk: You look hurried and lost; can I be of any help to you?
Unknown Man: I came with few friends, they were hunting too and I was left behind. I was lost and felt extremely thirsty and had to tap your door to ask for water.
(I can’t tell him the truth)

Monk: I feel good to be able to help
Unknown Man: Do you live here alone?

Monk: Yes, I’m a monk and the monastery is near, where I go to pray and meditate in the day and I come back here to sleep
Unknown Man: Meditate all day? You must be kidding, right?
Monk (Smiling, sat on the floor near the wooden chair and said nothing)
Unknown Man: …Because, I remember when I was a child my mother use to take me to church for some crap meditation sessions, if I closed my eyes for two minutes, I felt I was dead, it was the worst feeling.

Monk: You are right; meditation is a state of mind to experience the ‘Living dead’.
Unknown Man: ‘Living dead’?

Monk: A meditative state of mind is that of a drug addict, who at the height of their ecstasy, experiences the sensations beyond the body. And any external experience beyond the sensation of our body is considered dead, even though we are living, thus ‘Living dead’

Unknown Man:
(Then I must be the best ‘Living dead’ person, I spent my entire life on drugs. This man talks more crazy than he looks in this orange robe dress, but I can’t leave his place too I have to stay here, because the rival gang members who are chasing me if they even get a hint of my whereabouts they will kill me. So, to stay here for some more time either I have to kill this monk talking non-sense or I’ll have to bear some more of his useless talks)

Yes, I know what you mean I have had few drug overdoses in my past, I can relate to that feeling of ‘Living dead’, but I can never close my eyes to meditate
Monk: (Smiled again and said nothing)

Unknown Man: Why do you meditate anyways?
Monk: So I can avoid doing drug overdose, to seek the truth

Unknown Man (Laughed for the first time): So even monks can have sense of humor too.
Monk (Smiled again and said nothing)

Unknown Man: What truth are you after, ask me I’m wise, I have fixed few people and shown them the right direction
(By killing them)
Monk: The truth, which helps me define or give a meaning to my existence, with the knowledge and then the wisdom I acquire from it.

Unknown man: Knowledge and Wisdom, what are you talking about? How do they differ?
Monk (Smiled again, took a pause and then said): Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is knowing not to put it in fruit salad

Unknown Man (Busted and laughed loudly this time): So monks do have a good sense of humor too, I thought they are good for nothing and are just social outcast, who are running around with baldhead and weird clothes.
(Immediately realizing what he said)

Did I offend you by saying that?
Monk (Calmly and Smiling): No, because I have long given up on relating to this (pointing to himself) physical identity, and my ‘Living dead’ practice have helped me to control my reactions to the other’s actions, so your conscious have to do lot more to offend my consciousness.

Unknown Man (Paused and not knowing how to react and then said):

Monks are supposed to be celibate, then why this much Intellectual/Spiritual masturbation, explain me as you would explain this to a kid, in plain and simple English. Religious people like you have always confused me.
Monk: (Smiling very calmly): I’m not religious

Unknown Man (Confused): What? If not you, then who else can be called religious? Not me for sure, because I left going to church long back .God and I don’t go along well these days
(This Monk, don’t know I’m a Gangster, who murders & thug people for living, if the other rival gang members were not following me now, I would have cut this monk too for fusing my brain cells)
Monk: Religious person is a believer, he believes in things which he has not experienced himself sometimes, such as GOD, a heaven or hell. Thus those are based on assumptions or imaginations, they may or may not be true, but he is forced to believe in them in a controlled way, which deprives them of a freewill and seeking the truth.
It’s like telling a tourist who has come in to see the ocean, to walk on straight path for 1000km and by suggesting him; the road would up end up adjacent to the ocean. The tourist who will blindly follow the instructions to take this path is following an assumption. What if there is No Ocean in the end? What if in fact the ocean was very near from where he started walking? Which of course he did not look, because he had to follow a path for 1000 km as instructed. What if there is no path at all after walking 100km?

The assumptions are good sometimes to be made, but that also means without a conclusive truth backing it, one man’s assumptions/belief’s will always clash with other man’s assumptions/beliefs someday but definitely one day. And thus the chaos and fights in the world, because most of us lack the ability of acceptance, compassion to deal with these difference.

Unknown Man (Nodding and now started thinking): Who are you then? And what is your recipe for the world peace?
(I should not be even asking about the world peace, when I’m the reason to create chaos to lives around me)
Monk: (Smiling again): I’m a seeker of truth, the truth
• That makes me conscious of my inner self,
Helps me reflect on my thoughts, feelings, beliefs and motivations, teaches me to be objective and forgiving to myself.

• Gives me ability to develop my true potential or self actualize
Helps me create my blueprint for my beliefs, values, morality (choosing right and wrong), rules and experiences

• The knowledge/ intellect to define the meaning of my existence
The purpose of life is nothing, except of what you create. This purpose puts all of my physical, emotional, and intellectual potentials to good use, sustains me during my trying times, and gives me something to look forward to, a goal to achieve, a destination to reach.

• And the wisdom to find the relatedness with my environment
Recognizing my connection to all things around me, tends to make me feel more humble and respectful of everything. It makes me appreciate everything and everyone around me. It moves me to go beyond my comfort zone and reach out to other people, and become a better steward of all other things around me.

Ritual and prayer, along with questions of Nirvana and Salvation are directly connected with religious faith; this is why religion is something we can perhaps do without. What we cannot do without are these basic qualities of human spirit–such as love and compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, a sense of responsibility, a sense of harmony, which bring happiness to both self and others

Unknown Man (Now in complete awe of this Monk, but still mockingly said): And what is your recipe of world peace then?
Monk: I’m aware of my limitations to change the world, but I’m also very much aware of my Individual contribution to make a difference, my awareness to deal with chaos, and acceptance to the differences will lead to world peace.

Where there is righteousness in the heart, there is a beauty in the character
When there is beauty in the character, there is harmony in the home
When there is harmony in the home, there is an order in the nation
And when there is order in the nation, there is peace in the world

Peace always will start from within, your own self, from your own contribution.

Unknown Man (Speechless, complete silence- opened his mouth to say something then paused, clears his throat and then pause, the calmness in the dim lit room consumes the silence)

(Self-realization, individual contribution, peace, harmony, beliefs, morality, I have read these words before, I remember long back in school, but I’m too late to change anything in my life now. I’m a gangster and that is a fact, I have killed people, looted them, given them pain and suffering and made endless enemies, this monk is playing with my head. My offended GOD must have sent me to this man on purpose, to make a mess of my already chaotic life)

I’m a gangster
Monk (Calm & composed without moving an inch of his muscle): I already have guessed

Gangster: How do you mean you guessed?
Monk: There is no wildlife or jungle nearby. The panic with which you tapped my door in middle of night, the hurriedness to come inside, the loose gun, the half sipped glass of water only even when you said you was extremely thirsty, all this tells me you are not lost, but being chased.

Gangster (realizing he can’t match up with Monk’s Intellect): So were you not afraid I could harm you or even kill you?
Monk (Smiling): Death should never be feared, if you have lived wisely. But yes, I would have given you a good resistance, to avoid being killed mercilessly, which is something I could have controlled.

Gangster (Now being at little ease with the Monk): You are a brave Monk
Monk: And you are a brave too

Gangster: How am I brave?
Monk: ..because you decided to talk than to kill me, and It takes courage to resist the temptation.

Gangster (Not sure to laugh or smile or feel amazed): But I have killed other people, and caused lot of havoc in their lives
Monk: Sometimes the presence of ‘evil’ is the only thing, that makes the ‘good’ to deserve and prove its purity above it

Gangster: But who say’s I’m turning good ?
Monk: Your long pauses while talking tells me; there is some room for self-realization.

Gangster: I’m a gangster
Monk: I see you no different than me

Gangster: How do you mean?
Monk: You are doing this to have a life of wellbeing, so am I, so our motivations are the same, only difference is the paths we have taken- which can be corrected.

Gangster: I have killed people, do you not understand? Your path is completely the opposite of my path and there is no common ground and there is no turning back for me now.
Monk: The woman churning curd into butter, she has to pull one end of the rope, and let the other end go otherwise the rope will break. Contradictions and polarities are two ends of the same rope. You can pull one end and let the other end go. The choice is on us to make

Gangster: What will I get, even if I take your path, this crap room with no bed and dim light? I’m better off looting people; I at least have a lifestyle
Monk: You will get peace

Gangster: And who will decide who’s path is right?
Monk: You will decide for yourself. The path, which gives you ultimate happiness, is the correct path. If you can forgive yourself and still continue with your path, you should never change. If however, you have remorse, have self-regret, and feel un happy about it, then you will know you can’t continue on this path.

Gangster (Paused, speechless and with heavy throat): I confess, but I can’t let myself accept the truth, it will make me burn myself with self-regret and remorse
Monk: Three things cannot be long hidden, the sun, the moon and the truth

Gangster: But
Monk: There are only two mistakes one can make along the path of truth, one- not going all the way, the second- not starting.

Gangster: It’s too late for me to even try
Monk: A Jug fills drop by drop, any work started is always half done

Gangster (Speechless and thinking)
(Why everything this Monk is saying is making sense to me all of a sudden. It’s amazing how we imagine that just these few alphabets will someday arrange themselves in a way that everything will suddenly make perfect sense. A permutation of known words, suddenly bringing forward a previously unknown meaning.)

I have many enemies, and my life is always in danger, how can I be at peace

Monk: He who loves 10 people, will have 10 foes, he who loves no one, will have no enemies. If you have enemies that tell me you can love too. And when you will spread love and happiness to others, you will always be at peace.

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared similarly love is the nectar, which will one day glue the most rusted hearts.

Gangster: What if I get caught and get killed
Monk: You can get killed right now too regardless, so when you can’t control the outcome, you should only focus on changing your perspective. There is nothing more dreadful than living in doubt, just to avoid the death, which is our ultimate truth.

But what if you lived? How would you then change your life and the lives around you? Or would you just still want to live like this, so you could somehow avoid being killed?

Gangster (Suddenly started sobbing and crying with tears in his eyes, feeling embarrassed too):
Complete silence in the room, the silence of calmness, the silence of self-realization and the silence of self-actualization

I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I never cried as far as I can remember, I can’t control them and I’m not sure why?
Monk: I’m glad you did, for only a person with emotion can have compassion for others and for one’s own self.

Gangster: Can you be my teacher?
Monk (Very calm and Smiling): Teacher can never do more than showing a door, but then you have to come and walk inside with your own convictions. What we talked is all I could offer

Gangster: Then at least tell me, what exactly I need to do to correct my path?
Monk: It’s always better to travel well, than to arrive by a set destination provided by someone.

The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed. Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

Your suffering may guide you to your path, a path to attain higher knowledge and wisdom to accept and embrace the truth.

Because if your perspective is right, suffering is always creative, it always gives rise to something new and productive. And to understand everything, you have to develop the ability to forgive everything, which is a sole and self journey.

Gangster (Tears still in the eyes and the longest pause):

( I don’t know why am I crying? Why am I feeling this calm for the first time? Why am I not feeling chaotic? What have changed in me to see this monk as a teacher, when I was ready to kill him two hours ago? Who am I? What is my path? What is my purpose? Will I achieve that with what I’m doing-being a gangster?

Why is my gut telling me I need to seek the truth? I have to seek the truth. I have to accept the truth)

I want to meditate now.
Monk (peacefully smiling without a word, the calmness in the room is enticing it seems this calmness can drink and evaporate the entire chaos of  this universe):

I’m glad you want to, can I offer you my clothes which I’m wearing (requesting with his hands fold), I don’t have another set of robe here. This may help you detach from the identity you are carrying right now, to experience the new you. I’ll accept to wear your clothes.

Gangster and Monk exchanged clothes. Gangster wearing orange robe now and Monk accepted to wear his trouser and ‘Black Jacket’.

As the Monk and Gangster were meditating, the door got kicked and it flew open, 2 men carrying guns in devilish rush, pointed and fired 6 rounds of bullets to the man wearing ‘Black’ jacket and quickly they left. The other man in the room is still meditating.

QUESTION:

WHO IS LEFT IN THE ROOM NOW? THE GANGSTER or THE MONK?

THINK.

P.S: Sometimes the old forgotten friend we use to call as ‘Silence’, still do wonders in our modern and complex lives, by helping us connect to a state of realisation, which is beyond the sensation of our bodies – the state of Meditation, the state of ‘Living Dead’.

Authored & Created by : Anup D.

FATHER OF A NAMELESS SON – all about loving ur parents

FATHER OF A NAMELESS SON

I’m standing in my balcony and it’s very cold
My eyes are weak, but I still see the sign on my only property, which says ‘to be sold’
I now have a thin body and my wife and I are both eighty year old
She is ailing and lying on the sofa shivering with her hands fold
Nowhere to go and no one to talk with and behold
No choice left, but to be self-consoled
Only tree left in my garden is ‘alpine gold’

The view from my balcony is very clear
Sometimes thoughts of unfulfilled desires only come near
Instead of going away, they rather bark like a deer
I have a son who was born in ‘leap year’ (29th Feb-Only comes once in 4 years)

I remember the first time when I held my dear
Seeing those eyes and angelic face, my heart’s emotion did nothing but stir
My love for him was only pure and sincere
There was a time, when my front courtyard was filled with his cheer

I was working then as a young engineer
Every day I was dying to get back home to see the God’s souvenir (Gift)
Watching those small little hands and tiny ear
It was like to seeing your heart walking outside your body and that feel of fear
Our lives without him was ‘completely hollow’ that was so crystal clear
God please do something and make him reappear

I remember his complete school days
Working for him till midnights, to complete his essays
That helping him out with his tense, nouns and phrase
Answering his millionth question, with same excitement and craze
Those innocent acts and naughty plays
Why are my eyes wet now remembering those dusted thoughts and decays?

Heaven must be very small, because I could see it in his shining small eyes
My boy was becoming a handsome youth and I blessed him to always rise
His mother and I slept and skipped our many meals and rice
So we could save for him and thus he never have to live short and compromise

But I could never understand, what turned him towards us to see us with despise
He rudely denied our love for him, which was our saddest surprise
First time he held his mother’s arm and gave me his red eyes
I’m sure I would’ve done something wrong to give him a ‘No smoking’ advise
Only a child has this power, to become the sweetest or most painful devise

I remember one day when he was on the terrace
I saw him taking drugs with his friend called ‘Ferras’
I told him to please stop and explained him the evil of this virus
He told me to get away and don’t make him embarrass

On several occasions after this, he screamed at us and implied
‘I don’t need your bloody love, so don’t bother me and stay outside’
His mother still thinks about those painful memories and cries
Her eyes have emptied out and dried
It pains my heart to think, he is now not with us alongside
Oh Almighty! , Don’t please show this day to any father worldwide

My son got married to the most beautiful girl
I was extremely elated and gifted them diamond and pearl
He use to abuse and be rude to us in front of his wife
Those words pierced me from inside, like it was a deep cut from a knife
I could never understand the reason of this disconnect
But I still could not neglect him ever or object
Only thing I wanted was some reasonable respect
I swear I did everything I could to love him more and reconnect

I wondered why, this strange distance was beginning to arise
God I must have done something silly or unwise
I still can’t tell, why he could not realize our love and our cries
He left us lonely one day so easily, without even saying goodbyes
I consoled my wife, who froze completely, standing still like when someone dies
‘Grant me oh God’ just one wish, to please let me go back to that day and revise
What did we do wrong that we lost that precious prize?
I need the answers from you to my entire Why’s

Was my purpose just to raise him good, educate him well and pay his loan?
Did I burn my entire youth, for absolutely nothing to call my own?
Can you tell if his mother rightly got, what she deserves?
Was that fair that she lost her speech and now only lifelessly she observes?

They say dusk is just an illusion, because sun is either below the horizon or above
Despite this room being absolutely empty, only for you ‘my son’ there is lot of love
Some things can’t coexist at the same time with each other and even without, such as a day and a night
‘I don’t know my mistakes my dear son’, but I’ll pray you raise your child forthright

The view from my balcony is very clear
‘My son’ I can still see this empty courtyard and remember your cheer
I know you were born in leap year
But we still celebrate your birthday each year
I still do remember, when I held you first time my dear
I could die for those small hands and tiny ear
My love for you is pure and sincere
If I get to know that you are happy, then I can leave this earth without any fear

I’m standing in my balcony and it’s very cold
I can’t see the chopping of my only tree ‘alpine’ gold
I wish someone would listen to my wife, after my final hands fold
The pain she have within her is hidden and untold
I wish he would visit us before the angel from heaven takes us away
‘My son show me your face just once, come back please please and don’t delay’

-From a father of a ‘Nameless Son’

P.S: Most beautiful thing in this world is to see your parents smiling and knowing that you are the reason behind that smile. ‘Our birth’ itself is such a debt on each one of us, that we can never ever repay it no matter what, the very least we can do is to keep our parents happy and respect them.

 

Created & Authored by : Anup D.

ROLE MODEL – a Junkie(Drug Addict)

ROLE MODEL - a Junkie(Drug Addict)

I’m a junkie;
Parading around town, like a diseased monkey

I’m respectfully called a drug addict
Cocaine and heroin are running in my veins, is what you can easily predict
These drugs somehow had ‘Me’ handpicked
I had been totally hypnotized by it’s aura and tricked

Cos no one is born with any addiction
I started relying on them, because of my own broken conviction

I admit I was weak; this temptation is what I could not resist
Bitten by this drug snake, via which venom hissed
I chose to rather stay with those dirty needles, which punctured my wrist
When actually my family and friends kept waiting at home, to be kissed

Once I was told that, Jesus died to pay for my sins
Was it- so I could get stoned, with those Injection and pins?

For me, HE also accepted to be crucified
Praise me, cos I paid him back, by stealing money from others, to maintain my addiction – now that’s called being dignified

When sun goes down, the blue becomes black
My life as I see now, has taken up a tragic wrong track

The track, which has taken me to barren grounds
Deprived me of my self respect, given me cunning body pains and now these hallucinating sounds

I’m sure I must have burned my loved one’s million hopes
In those smoking pots, cocaine sessions and rounds of heroin dopes

Self-destruction was a romance
Who was I foolishly convincing, that it’s even beautiful to see a frog dance?

My needle mates (Junkie friends) always use to say this
‘Addition is such a beautiful bliss’
‘It’s like an addictive and lusty French kiss’
‘Have one more, just one more doze- don’t miss, don’t miss’

‘Heaven will soon start, when you reach your orgasm’
Why did I not realize then, that addiction is life’s way of playing a joke with a hateful sarcasm?

But,
Why are you even talking to me, you ‘crack head’
I know you’re my inner soul, which I thought was long dead

I remember talking to you regularly when I was a child
Can you take me back to those days, when I smiled?

I recall you telling me during my first time, ‘Do Not Try’
I ignored you and shut you up, by saying ‘Good Bye’

Why are you still telling me, I have to leave this all and start an inner conflict?
Do you not know, it’s not a choice for me cos now I’m an addict

I once read, that  journey of every river ends in a sea
So are you telling me, I won’t end up with this hollowness and can actually be free?

Do you still believe in me, that I can do this on my own?
So you’re telling me, that I have an inner strength, which to me is unknown?

Do you know the harder I’ll try to leave this, the more it will pain
No blood flows in my body now, but this white cocaine
I hate to admit though; but- what you’re saying is right, when you explain
Even the dirtiest mud smells it’s best, when it rain

Will you stay with me now, because I need someone to talk with and be heard?
I promise you and give you my word

I agree and you’re right, I have been weak for far too long
I can’t let this addiction rule me and now I have to be strong

Hay listen,
You cocaine and crack
Leave me alone, f*ck off- cos I want my life back

I promise now I’ll take back every single thing what you stole.
My life, my love, my world and my dear Inner soul

I refuse to die being a junkie
Like a diseased rotten monkey

I take control of my life from today and will re-model
I want to be remembered not as crack head, but a role model

 

P.s: Life’s good, you hold the key to recovery- open the door and see a brighter side. Drug addiction won’t make you a role model, fighting it -will.

 

Created & Authored by: Anup D.

 

DON’T KNOW WHY? -do new clocks always show 10:10 ?

DON'T KNOW WHY? -do new clocks always show 10:10 ?

When you buy a new clock, it always shows the time as 10:10, did you ever realized?
I once thought of this and one interesting thing I analyzed

I’ll try and explain this in a simple way, for someone to relate
If you don’t like it, you of course can curse me more in public on a Facebook update

A scientist once placed 5 monkeys in a cage
They were all very sophisticated, educated and had sage

He put a ladder in the middle and kept few bananas on the top
As expected monkey’s started jumping with excitement without a stop

But every time any monkey went up the ladder to eat
He soaked rest of monkeys with cold water from head to feet

After a while, every time a monkey climbed the ladder for banana eating
The moment he came down from ladder, rest of them mercilessly stared beating

Now after sometime, no monkey dared to go up the ladder regardless of the temptation
All were behaving as if they have come on very composed family vacation

Scientist then decided to substitute one of the monkey
New one immediately jumped up the ladder like a superman called ‘Spunky’

Little did ‘Spunky’ knew when he got down
Other would beat him up left, right and center to give him the welcome crown

After several beatings ‘Spunky’, accepted not even to look up and try
Even though he never knew the reason why

Now the 2nd monkey was substituted and same thing occurred
‘Spunky’ also took part in this beating the new member, even adding his curse word

The 3rd monkey was changed and the same thing was repeated
The beatings of this 3rd one got more violent and heated

4th monkey was replaced and he saw the bananas kept uneaten
The sec. he stepped down he was thrashed and beaten

Finally the 5th one was replaced
After his beatings, his face was red like a tomato paste

Now what was left in cage were 5 new monkey
Chunky, Clunky, Funky, Hunky and our very dear superman ‘Spunky’

Even though these handsome faces never got cold shower
But they continued to attack any monkey, who even looked up at banana flower

No one knows the actual reason of doing this and thus not amend
They are just doing the same thing, like following an invisible fashion trend

Had it been possible to ask these monkeys, as in, why they would beat up all those?
Whosoever attempted to go up the ladder to touch that banana rose

I bet you, they would answer

“I don’t know, but that’s how the things are done here and I don’t have a clue”
Why clocks are still kept at 10:10, is the same reason without a logic view

Few of us might be thinking, this sounds familiar to situations in my life
Where I can’t answer why am I doing the same things like a robotic surgical knife?

Other may be thinking, it does not relate to me because I’m wise
But why then do you remain confused, stuck up sometime in thoughts, decisions and situations you guys?

They say, it’s insanity to expect a different result from the same actions
Our life is a canvas of some sorted and confused abstractions

So whenever you get stuck up, are confused and decide to give up and stay
Remember, there is always a different way to do things in a better way, a better way and a better way

Created & Authored by: Anup D.

AWKWARD LOVE- When Grandpa Meets Juliet

AWKWARD LOVE- When Grandpa Meets Juliet

If I have a girl friend one day

I assume moon will shine better than usual and spray

 

Sunshine will be weighted in abundance in kilo ton

Sun will remain throughout the night to say, Oh my boy you Won, You Won

 

Air somehow I feel would have that special fragrance all around

Even lion’s in Jungle won’t disturb me and shush themselves to make no sound

 

I’m worried what will I say, If she’ll ask me, how much I love her in a haste ?

How can you explain someone, how does the water taste?

 

Can I say, ‘I’ll try my best to like you like an 8, cos it never end’

‘How about we stop the words now and just hug and blend’

 

I may not be her first kiss or her first love

But somewhere far, ending is always best when a horizon meets a dove

 

‘You don’t have to be perfect for anyone, including me’

‘I’ll have to find perfection in the way you are, is the key’

 

I need someone one day

Who also could tell me, ‘even when you’re boring but you’re still Ok’

 

I feel awkward to say this and shy, but ‘can I call you mine’?

I wish she would reply to this by saying, ‘That’s not my name my dear, ‘I’m yours’ on cloud nine’.

 

I can’t understand any bookish romance

Where Romeo ‘n’ Juliet die young, whenever they get a chance

 

Rather I want to become that Grandpa taking my Juliet to france

Where even the stars may shy away, when they see us both dance.

 

@Created & Authored by:- Anup D.

DO DOGS COMMIT SUICIDE ?

DO DOGS COMMIT SUICIDE ?

As I was walking down the alley
I saw a dog lying dead, with gun by its side and blood spilling out from its belly

I ignored it and walked ahead
A thought suddenly came to my mind, which I had recently read

Even dogs are doing Suicide, when they are depressed
This truth is little shocking, for me to accept Instead

Because, It is well known that a dog’s brain is equal that of a two year old
You need to posses a sense of consciousness to make a move, such a bold

For anyone to take their life they need to understand the concept of life and death
And come to a conclusion, that ending is easier than to taking the next breath

How can two-year-old child posses such a sense?
And can equate between loss, grief, and pain so immense

It’s strange to believe, a Dog telling God, you can’t fire me cos I quit
Gone are the days of my sense of humor and quick wit

I cannot tear out a single page of my life and still admire
But Instead, I choose to throw the whole book in the fire

Considering this thought,

I conclude that it’s an illusion, that we are all only touch and feel
Our consciousness that we have, is actually our real deal

That also tells me I have the power to disallow any depressed thought walk my mind, with its dirty feet
To go through what life has to offer such as the pain, the anger and this happiness is what makes me complete

So I won’t accept and die like a dog’s death
When I can control and consume this universe on my command on every breath

Created & Authored by: Anup D.

THE FORGOTTEN – Homeless

THE FORGOTTEN

As I woke up in the morning
The clouds are raging on me, without any warning

I surrender to their gestures and their threats
I remember, once I had bills to pay and the debts

But now, I’m lying on my back in open and looking at the sky
No food in my stomach and my throat is dry

There is something in the sky, because whenever you look at it with a craze
It always connects you, to your old memories and those days’

Those days of laughter, a home and pets
All I’m left with now is a mattress, one trouser and two cigarettes

Plus, an empty stomach, those old memories and now starving pain
I just wish ‘Oh Heaven’ now, that it did rain

Because I don’t want to show the passerby, my dark swollen eye
I hate to admit, but sometimes men too cry

As I lie down motionless,

A life, wants to exist my body because of this starvation
A silent revolution is going within me, like a self-realization
I’m a part of this human society, which is not even considered a civilization
I could be equated to a used pad, thrown after a cycle of menstruation
If I may be lucky, I may end up becoming a 10 sec topic of some dinner conversation

I still have self-respect left, not to beg anyone to give me food
Even though I m penny less and semi nude

Though I read once, that people believe in ‘Giving – as a Joy of living ’.
May be that is true for only one day, of ‘Thanksgiving

Cos reality if very different, bitter and crude
Many people here are not that nice, but may be rude

I look at life from the street closely enough, to say it is ruthless
I’m the prey and I’m THE HOMELESS

@ Authored & Created by: Anup D.

HOW TO MANUFACTURE BROKEN WATCHES- BE A BULLY

HOW TO MANUFACTURE BROKEN WATCHES- BE A BULLY

They all say I’m a broken watch, who looks ugly and should be thrown aside
But then why does my mummy say, ‘You’re my prince and my pride’?

My name is ‘Aayan’ and my age is ten
But why does everyone in my school, tease me and call me a ‘Fat Hen’?

My daddy once said ‘You’re my golden son, whose name have a very good sound ‘
But why does my classmates always beat me and throw me to the ground?

Once I went to my priest uncle, he said every child has a God inside
But why does everyone mock me everyday and say ‘You fat, you ugly and now go away and hide’
I don’t trust my priest uncle anymore, because he don’t know where does the GOD reside
I will tell him that no one sits with me, at lunchtime alongside

Mummy, why did you keep me in dark by calling me your prince?
Why did you not tell me, I look very ugly ever since?

Papa, you also are not good at all, I should say
Why did you keep telling me I’m your golden son, in your fake sweet way?
When everyone just laughs on me and throws me away

I promise, I will never talk to any of you anymore
Because I’m now shutting my door
I don’t love myself, but now abhor

P.s:
A Bully: Who uses one’s superior strength of influence to intimidate someone, typically to force him or her to do what one wants, and not every child knows how to handle a bully, it can have long term psychological effects.

Some alarming figures:

>Kids bullied 3 times or more show sighs of great depression
>Kids bullied 9 times or so, shows signs of possible suicidal tendencies
>250,000 kids report being bullied each month, these are just the ones which gets reported

To stop this manufacturing of broken watches, DON’T BE JUST A BY STANDER to a someone being bullied, SAY SOMETHING.

@Authored & Created by: Anup D.

RESPECTFUL DONKEY –those others who will always say !

RESPECTFUL DONKEY –those others who will always say !

A father and his son were walking freely, on either side of a donkey
Two men standing there looked at them and said, ‘look at these two fools behaving like a monkey’
They are nothing more than a mindless junkie
Cos why would anyone even walk, when they have a donkey?

The father heard this and told his dear son
‘Help me sit on this animal, so we can stop their verbal gun’
As they were walking ahead, under this heated sun
A lady saw and pointed at father ‘look at you, you ruthless one’

‘How can you be so heartless and make your son to walk’
Start counting your days to hell, with an alarm clock
That gave father a 4000-watt electric shock
He felt like a complete unlisted stock
He immediately got down like a smooth sales talk
To make his son sit on it, before they walked toward the city block

When they entered the city

The son was now having his donkey ride
While the father was walking by his side
Seeing this an old man walking along side
Called the son , ‘a lazy bum ‘ with a disgust inside

‘You have NO RESPECT left for your father’, he replied
How can you sit on donkey with such a pride?
While your father have to walk by your side
‘You are worthless young fellow, ask anyone worldwide’

Hearing this, the son felt very abused
Father saw this and felt very confused
He too then climbed the donkey, on seat unused
‘We finally found the solution my son, now we can’t be accused’

Father and son were much relived now, with this perfect solution
They felt as if they have solved the Darwin’s theory of evolution
But before they could go further, with this great discovery and contribution
They heard another noise pollution

This time it were two priests, who looked at them and said
‘God we don’t want to see, these two living dead
So either call us or take them instead’

‘How can these two be so cruel to a donkey, who can’t even say
Hell is waiting for them, as they would decay
Give them some wisdom oh our LORD, we can just pray
Such a cruelty to animal, they both have to repay

Father and son looked at each other and decided
They immediately came to same conclusion undivided
This decision was done at the speed to light
No argument, no fight, they felt they can’t be more polite

They both got down off the donkey, faster than a ‘mouse click’
Tied the donkey to a long bamboo stick
Walked on either side to avoid donkey’s kick

Now they thought, this could be the way to avoid the punishment and hell
Before they could enjoy their heaven’s farewell
A small little boy standing there, made a yell

‘Look at you two mindless junkie’
Behaving like a monkey
Why are you both even walking, when you have a donkey’.

P.S: As they say in Hindi ‘Sabsey bara ROG,kya khangey LOG’ (Biggest ‘disease is to worry about what other would say’ )

Authored & created by: Anup D.

METALHEAD –That youth, which is wasted on young

METALHEAD –That youth, which is wasted on young

NO Job, Spouse, freedom and voice
That’s the root of youth’s frustration, without a choice

He’s like the Sailor, within the life’s sea
Who is aimlessly searching, for that shore and orchid tree?

The tree, which may never be found
That builds his frustration more compound

They say ,

Youth is wasted on young sometime
One small mistake could black mark for the lifetime

This frustration makes him walk on very thin line
If he can manage this anger, he will shine
Otherwise the obvious thing is decline

So my young friends, do remember

You always connect your dots , looking backward
So deal with this fractured frustration, which ain’t that awkward

Be at peace, because that really matters
Since life is a plate of mixed platter
Be calm and don’t uselessly shatter

@ Authored & created by: Anup D.

BOOMERANG –Our Karma

BOOMERANG –Our Karma

Here comes Mr Vik Verma
Let’s talk about his karma

Vik use to steal a lot
Weather it was someone’s cash or an earthen pot
Super confident, that he’d never be caught
His spending’s been, like of a big big shot

Because of his deep pocket
Every girl wanted to be close to him, like an electric cod and a wall socket

He is doing great in life and now lives in a mansion
All he talks about now, is his business expansion

Seeing him live so lavishly makes me think,
I wish I could also travel to Paris for a drink

May be I should have done the same
Why do I need to work this hard and worry about my annual leave’s claim?
I could also have easily earned like him, with that stealing game
Those girls’ would have also know me, by my first name
And all I would think is, buying that most expensive picture frame.
‘Wow, life to me now is looking like a beautiful golf game’

How the hell am I living at present? What a shame, what a shame!

Few days ago when I met Vik, I was shocked to see him living on the street.
When I went closer to him, to greet
He was completely warned out, like a homeless defeat.
Like all he was living off, was a whiskey on the neat
He was looking, not more than jerked and wasted meat

“My accountant have robbed me completely, of my balance sheet”
He stole even my last penny, for his own retreat
He has left nothing for me; he is a cheat, cheat, cheat! “

Those were his word’s, which made me suddenly realize
When I thought to myself, may be his situation is not that complicated after all to analyze

They say KARMA is a b*tch
That is

What goes around, finally comes back around
Only that your boomerang will always come back with double rebound
From a blind, just try and steel only one pound
Before you hit the burial ground
This KARMA will cut your limbs, before you could even turn around.

@ Authored & created by: Anup D.