Holy Cow
–Superstition: What we don’t understand we make it mean anything.
Am I just the only one having a funny bone?
Or does everyone laugh on this, as well, when they are alone?
As a kid I used to wonder the reason on my own
As in who must have created this thought process and ‘no reason’ zone?
I recall during our house warming ceremony, milk was heated in a vessel and forcibly made to overflow only towards east
This made the God strangely appear from heaven to come down on earth and join us for a feast
Also we had to give delicious food to the priest, in return we got his blessings leased
Our floor plan was done consulting ‘VAASTU’, otherwise our house would have been full of beast
When I was a child, I was instructed to never sleep with my head facing north or west.
When I questioned the logic, it was so obvious that it was never addressed.
(Superstition: People preferred to start all-important activities via direction east; they feel it brings good luck
VAASTU: Ancient Indian sciences of making you live a healthy & happy life, by following some natural design laws for a construction)
I use to hear such stories from my grandma on the phone
Sometimes so complicated like policies of a home loan,
But it always made me curious, so I always waited for the dial tone,
Because I found these stories not foreign, but interestingly only homegrown
There are many superstitions, which are very popular and well known
But if you ask anyone the reason or logic, oops, that is completely unknown
You know what?
The trees of Coconut and Banyan in my house were considered sacred and so cool,
If you dare to question, how can Lakshmi’s fortune sit on a cow’s tail end, then you’re clearly the biggest fool (Lakshmi: Goddess of wealth and prosperity)
Lakshmi will become angry and miss your house if you don’t turn on the light
This is a common myth especially during the ‘Diwali’ night (Diwali: Indian festival)
(Superstition: Goddess will only come to those, whose house is lit up properly and those who are ready to pay more electricity bills during the night of DIWALI
Superstition: Coconut, Banana & Asoka tree is a must and bring in good luck in the house)
First thing I was made to see in the morning every day was a picture of a GOD.
I agreed to all of it without question and just gave a nod.
Because that was considered such good luck for the day,
Even after such a good luck, no one gave me anything in my left hand in any which way.
When I wondered why, the only answer I got was in a survey
(Superstition: No one takes or accepts things from the left hand in India, because the left hand is used as substitute for toilet paper)
As a child whenever I had to prove my innocence for a statement, I always sneezed;
That indicated what I said is absolutely true and my parents were so pleased
After this I ate all my brother’s chocolate again and teased
He got all the scolding and every time seeing me get away he got seized
If you copied me and sneezed odd number of times, believe me it is true
Your world is about to get upset and this is not out of the blue.
It would be so easy for the police using this to catch a bad man.
Why would they waste their time creating strategy and a plan?
(Superstition: Sneezing occurrence and timings is like a ‘lie detector’ test in India and can bring you bad luck if you sneeze odd times )
If a black cat crossed my way, I was told to dare not proceed because it brings an omen.
I could not get how a sack of rice got spoiled being touched by a woman.
If you see a cat giving birth, that was considered such good luck,
But hay hay ! An unusual winking of the eye indicates, “Boss you’re about to get f*ck.”
(Superstition: –
-It’s considered that women should not touch rice, when she is going through her P*r***s)
-Unusual winking of the eye is a sigh that trouble is very near)
I was clearly instructed to never ask anyone, “Where are you going?” just before anyone is about to leave the house.
Yes, I could see the clear effect of my experimenting with this on my dad, who went out to buy his trousers, but came back with a blouse.
(Superstition: If you ask someone before they’re leaving the house, the purpose of his going out will be revered and not fulfilled)
On my way to school, I once, accidently, jumped across the worshiped coconuts on the road.
I was taken immediately to the priest who read complicated “Mantras” like developing a computer code.
I touched his feet, and his entire blessings I remember on my head, he did drop.
He advised me of taking a teaspoon of curd with little sugar before my exam so I could top
(Superstition: Never walk or hit a worshipped lemon, coconut and pumpkin on the road, which can be bad luck)
I soon got fully recovered, only to see one day the cawing of a crow on the coconut tree nest.
This clearly signaled that we should expect an arrival from a guest.
And here comes my uncle with my aunty, who was always overdressed,
My cheeks they would pull, 1000 times at least, and do my skin test.
(Superstition: Cawing of the crow and itching of the right palm is a signal for guests arriving soon)
When I grew up old and came out of those years of baby care,
I wanted to look good, shave for the first time and my youth I wanted to declare.
Before, I was just about to attempt my first dare,
I was stopped so rudely and someone said, “Stop and don’t even go there.”
Because how can I forget, it was an inauspicious Monday barring me any shaving or washing hair.
(Superstition: Monday is an inauspicious day for shaving and Thursday is an inauspicious day for washing one’s hair.)
I got married finally and all my relatives gave the token of love of not Rs 100 but Rs 101,
Because only this one extra rupee, gets the marriage life to run
India is the only country where the wife starves a day for her husband (on “Karva chauth”) and prays.
I’m sure you would have heard a story of a Bull, who lived long when a cow left eating her grass for a day.
(Superstition: Karva Chauth: Indian festival for a day, wife fasting for her husband’s long life
-For some strange reason the gift of Rs 101 , or 21 or 51 or 1001 is considered good and not 100 or 50 or 20 or 1000, one extra Rs brings in the luck I suppose)
But, India is a great country and 1.3 billion people can never be wrong.
Follow if you wish your superstitions in a fun way, but not so strong.
To such a great country, I can only bow.
Only thing left to say is Holy cow, holy cow, holy cow!!
P.S: If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere hahaha. Follow what is logical to you and not everything blindly sometimes.
@Copyright: Authored by amateur me-Anup D.
Amature me -Anup D. 